We Both Lost to War
by xRavenclawLeighx
Summary: Post the second war. What happens when Severus understands Ginny losing Harry just as he once lost Lily to war. Snape/Ginny Harry/Ginny. Sticks to Canon.
1. His middle name is Severus

**~My name is Leigh!**

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"Severus." Was all that I uttered as Harry asked my suggestion on a middle name. His eyes widened and he looked at me with utter confusion.

"Why Severus?" He muttered lowly, his eyes returning to his work that he needed to finish. He was always working, he only took a break when he wanted to drink or wanted sex. I took James out of the house on both occasions.

"If you get to pick his first name and it's going to be Albus, I get to pick his middle name, which is Severus." I said sharply, I was a fuse on fire and Harry looked up hearing my tone. Hardly did I speak to him in such a way, I usually didn't mind most things that he did.

"Ginny...did something happen to make decide so strongly on his name?" Harry was trying to pick me apart. The way he treated all his cases. That drove me insane, and I wasn't in the mood to be analyzed.

"He died being a double agent to save you, simply because he loved your mother, even though she picked James. Isn't that enough reason?" I asked haughtily.

He evaluated my reaction to his question and he ran a hand through his hair, he stood up and took my hands that were shaking. He wasn't the best of spouses, but he understood when she simply had enough.

"I didn't mean to press into something Ginny...I just want to understand you." He murmured and wrapped his arm around me, pressing me to his chest. I allowed this small comfort but I shook my head.

"Harry...I lost my best friend to the war," I choked out, my face contorting into pain and I buried my face into his shoulder, "And he understood because he lost his best friend to the war too."

Harry immediately pulled away from me, his expression I could not read. His face turned pale and then his eyes widened with recognition.

"When you say he.. you mean Severus don't you?" He muttered, his eyes dark.

"You left me Harry.. not the other way around. Now I want you to sit down and listen to what I have to say all right? If you want to know the story, you have to listen without saying a word." I pulled away and sat on the bed, I gently patted the seat next to me. Harry sat down without an argument, I wondered what was going through his head that I had silenced the great Harry Potter.

"Tell me." Was all he uttered as he sat down. His eyes were vacant, ready to absorb whatever story I had to tell him.


	2. From Pep Potions to Romania

The new school year loomed ahead and I had spent one too many hours hyper ventilating in my room about what could happen. I knew I wasn't going to be alone, almost of the DA was returning for their last year or last two years. But ever since Harry left I wasn't the same. I knew that if he had died it would be all over the Daily Prophet, but that didn't ease my tension. He hadn't even said good bye. That was the worst part about it, he had everything of me and he didn't even say goodbye. I have never known what it feels like to lose someone you care so much, and the aching inside of me that slowly turned into a hardness I didn't even dream of opening, just reminded me of it constantly. I had become the mental case sister all because of some damn boy. The same damn boy who didn't even find his way to say bye to me. I shouldn't really care, he's left me before, but you can only accept being left so many times. This time was different though, I knew he wouldn't come back the same.. if he came back at all.

The first few weeks after the wedding, I had nightmares every time I fell asleep. They consistently revolved around someone dying a gruesome way, but the person changed nightly. The nights it was Harry though, those were some of the worst. Never once have I seen his green eyes look at me so vacantly, and I hope I never have too. My sleeping habits changed immensely, I hardly slept so I could stop the dreams. Pep potions became my best friend that summer, and I didn't know how I would be able to keep using them at the rate I was once school started. Mum and dad had no idea how I was still functioning, and I didn't have the heart to tell them. Only Charlie knew, and with his connections out in Romania, every morning whether I slept or whether I didn't, there was one waiting for me. When he came to visit he sat me down in my room, where no one else was and frowned deeply.

"Ginny, you look like hell." Charlie muttered, his frown growing as his thumb ran over the darkened circles that now took over my eyes.

"Thanks Charlie..," I rolled my eyes and pushed his hand away from my face, "I can't sleep because I dream and if I do sleep I wake up the whole house because I cry or scream. They can't lose sleep just because I am.."

"Gin seriously though, how come mum and dad haven't noticed this? You can clearly see you don't sleep, you've lost way too much weight, and honestly Gin.. you hardly look like yourself." Charlie raised a brow. What he didn't know is I had boughten make up from the gold Harry had given me, and claimed that I worked out to anyone who remarked on my weight.

"Charlie please leave it. Mum and Dad don't know because all I've been doing is wearing make up. And wearing make up. Plus they hardly notice anything with Dad worrying about his job at the ministry, and mum is worried about the rest of you." I bit my lip till I bled and swallowed.

"This stops now Gin. You can't wallow and make yourself waste away, no matter what the reason. I'm showing you to mum and dad and then you are coming to spend the rest of the summer with me in Romania. I'll put you to work, and then you'll go back to school on September 1st like nothing else happened." When he saw I wasn't moving from my seat, he scooped me up in his arms and carried me out of my room and to mum and dad who were eating breakfast in the kitchen.

"Mum!" Charlie barked out to her from my room and she stood up, clearly confused by his presence. "What have you and dad been doing to not notice this?" I looked at mum, and twisted my way out of Charlie's arms. Mum's face twisted from confusion to pain as she saw me for the first time in 5 weeks without make up, and without anything to hide how truly thin I was becoming. Sleep deprivation caused a lot of problems, and this was all a side effect of it.

"Gin?" She took a step closer to me, but I took a step back and partially covered myself with Charlie.

"Mum it really isn't that bad. It's just from being unable to sleep." I muttered softly, hoping it wouldn't seem as bad as Charlie put it. Though from her and dad's facial reaction I assumed it was. Charlie intervened and gently steered mum from her horrified looks and to the kitchen table again.

"I don't think Ginny should be here anymore. I think spending the last 2 weeks before school starts with me in Romania would be good for her." I had never seen Charlie so business like, I wondered if he was this way in Romania. Mum who was still gaping at me, couldn't give an answer, so she left it up to dad.

"I agree." Was the only answer that dad could muster. I had never meant to cause them any pain, I thought I was doing the best thing for them. If Charlie hadn't come home, they would have never known any different. I was pissed at Charlie for that, but it also meant I wouldn't be at the burrow for the rest of summer. That was one part I wasn't so pissed about. Maybe Harry would make a stop in Romania, or any one of my school friends at this point would be lovely. I walked in my room and grabbed my trunk throwing all of my clothes in it, I threw all the school supplies I had left and then reached under the bed, grabbing the ones Harry had boughten me for the next year. I pulled out all the letters he had ever written me.

His letters are what made it so hard, they stopped the day before the Order went and picked him up from his aunts house. The day before George lost his ear and mad eye died. Each of them though, declaring that he loved me and he would be with me after the war, is what I read and reread when I couldn't sleep. So they stay with me. They got placed gently in my backpack along with my wand, and a few photos, my hair brush, and my notebook. I walked back out to the kitchen with my trunk to see Dad and Charlie deep in discussion and mum no where to be found. They broke apart when I cleared my throat, and Charlie stood up nodding towards my things.

"Is that all you'll need?" He raised a brow, I realized it wasn't alot, but it was only two weeks then I headed to school. I nodded once.

"Where's mum?" I looked at dad and when he just stayed silent, I looked at Charlie.

"She's outside, de gnoming." I groaned slightly, when mum de gnomed the garden, we all knew to leave her alone. Hell to that, I was leaving and wouldn't be back till Christmas.

"I'll be right back." I surprised myself by how calm I sounded, and Charlie just sat back down at the table as I opened the door.

"Mum?" I walked past the shed where dad kept all his muggle contraptions and found her, not beating them senseless but instead talking to them. I faintly heard her say that at least she could take care of them as a proper mother. I chewed my lip and took a step back, making a twig snap. Her head turned around but I hardly started toward the door. I heard her call my name, but I wasn't particularly interested in listening. I ran in the fireplace much to the surprise of Charlie and my dad and flooed to Charlie's with only my backpack on my shoulders.


End file.
